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Are you a victim of SHOULD?

We have been brought up with a conditioning that there is always a right answer, a right way that you must find and act accordingly. And that one answer is what keeps us wander recklessly leading us to lose an opportunity to really live our lives. And the outcome is that we still never find it. Whatever we do, is never enough, doesn’t make everyone happy. And neither makes us ever satisfied because we always operate from the approach of what has a validation, what gets approved by others, what looks right to all.

Let’s look at how we talk to ourselves and even others.

What should I do to…., You should……, One should …they should…., he should, she should …..

Does this sound familiar? Anything common that you noticed in what we speak and think, be it for ourselves or for others?

The word ‘SHOULD’. SHOULD is a word that limits your thinking and takes away the options. Because there is something that is right and that right SHOULD only be done. But who decides what SHOULD be done? How is it that one thing that we drive our thinking through or preach others to act through is right for all in every given situation and in every context? How is it possible?

What may be right for me may not be right for you, what may look good to me, may not look good to someone else, what’s doable for me may not be doable for anyone else. Then where does this SHOULD come from?

How many of us can say that we have been happy following the SHOULD’s – the rule book – one size fits all concept? I bet, no one is.

If you ask me, the word ‘SHOULD’ should be removed from the dictionary of life. That’s the only should I am happy with!

But then what do we replace it with that brings us the answers, the happiness, the satisfaction? The space can’t be left vacant, right?

Let’s try this –

Ask yourself – What should I do with my life?

And now, change the same question to – What do I want to do with my life?

Now, see what these 2 question do to you and your mind? How does these 2 situations change your experience of thinking?

The moment you ask yourself or anyone else what do you want to, it opens the options, it gives you freedom to identify what works for you, what gives you happiness and make a choice. While being told what you should do closes the doors of thinking, making a choice, and do what brings you happiness.

So, experience your life replacing SHOULD with WANT TO in your life and you will see how you get the answers, how it brings clarity in thoughts and gets you sorted in how you live your life.

Now, question arises, how would you know what you want is right or wrong? No one can tell you that except you yourself. I apply the simple formula – what makes me feel good about is right for me because anything else will not make me happy. The heart already knows what’s right for you. There is no right or wrong  answers.

Life is not complicated – Its simple. It is what we make it with our thoughts. So keep it simple. Take ownership of your life, your own happiness and ask yourself – What do I want?

Wishing you more courage & happiness!


Published by Reetu Verma (

I am founder of my brand - Get Sorted™, a passionate life transformation Coach, Author & a Transformation Speaker with a pedigree of 23 years of accomplished career as a senior HR professional with companies like Prometric, Genpact Headstrong, Nortel Networks, SSP Worldwide, Xebia Architects & British Council. - Author of "Get Sorted" Your truth is what you want to see! Reality may be different. - Traveled around the world – United Kingdom, United States of America, Malaysia, Singapore, Hongkong, Europe (Switzerland, France, Germany, Netherlands, Belgium), Dubai, Thailand, Bhutan - Impacted lives of 15000+ people across the globe I am passionate about making a positive difference in people’s lives. Nothing satisfies more than to help someone find life in their life, a solution to their problem, clarity in their confusion, light in their darkness, hope in their despair and strength in their being.

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