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My choice has the power !

I woke up a little agitated in the morning for a reason unknown to me and had to reach office by 9.30 am for an important meeting. Got ready in rush and left home in no time. I usually take an auto to the metro station and then another auto to office. Couldn’t understand why that day every auto driver wanted double money and none of their meters were working. Wasted almost 15 minutes waiting & negotiating but then agreed to pay their demanded charges. It was like everyone around wanted to demand a ransom of my need to reach for the meeting on time. “What a wrong place to be” I sighed and pitied myself.

Extraordinary rush in the metro as if they were all brought together just to test my patience. I was feeling the anguish in me & everything inside me was boiling. And there I saw a seat getting vacant where while a lady tried sitting, a man quickly slipped into the seat and pretended that he didn’t notice the lady wanting to sit and got busy with his phone. Damn!!! He seems to be an educated man…selfish & disgusting. I looked around and every single person was busy with their phones – some listening to music, some reading or chatting over WhatsApp and some watching videos. What a lonely world this is! With all the frustration in mind I chose to close my eyes and not witness the selfishness, insensitivity & loneliness of the world.

In a couple of minutes, a giggle broke my attention. I ignored for a while, and there it came again…this time a little louder and longer. It was like a sound of an innocent child giggling at a simple joy. It continued to raise my curiosity to open my eyes and find where it was coming from …who was it? Strangely it was a young man standing next to me watching some video in his mobile. I wondered – he is loud and not realising he is in a crowded metro. First thought “Should I tell him that he is loud? And then another – “ I can’t change how people behave and it just shouldn’t matter to me” and I closed my eyes again to be in a company of the one who seemed to be the only sensible person on the planet (myself). The giggle continued…it was magical. I didn’t realise when did my focus moved to listen to his giggle from all the thoughts that I had. It was like I was meditating. The metro jerked and accidentally he stepped on my foot. In a fraction of a second there came an immediate meaningful apology & then he continued with the video. I realised he was conscious in his mind. Then I looked around and saw a young girl on her own offering her seat to lady with a baby. It was heart-warming and I couldn’t resist smiling at that girl with an appreciation. She smiled back as if appreciating that I noticed her. In some time, someone who had a bad cough, asked if someone was carrying water and another man immediately offered his water bottle to ease him. Some chemicals in my brain were undergoing a change and emotions were melting with warmth. There are nice people around. I saw people busy with what they like to do. It was not selfish. I reached the destination for the final auto to my office and found one at once. I was still running late by 10 minutes but just then got a reschedule message to the meeting for an hour later. What was happening? How was everything changing? How was I able to suddenly see positive in everything around.

I introspected and realised that the change actually started with the sound of the giggle. In fact, not with that sound but my choice to listen and enjoy the innocent giggle of a grown-up man not really concerned about how he was being seen by people. Some people were mocking at his act, while a few chose to ignore. But his choice was clear – allowing himself to enjoy what he liked & at the same time completely conscious about the basic courtesies that he should follow in a social environment. In the rotten mindset I was carrying, even a simple thought of booking a cab didn’t strike as if the doors for any out of the box ideas were just not permitted. But I was later glad it didn’t or I would have missed the experience and the learning.

In the bundle of negative thoughts, the vibrations of the natural, positive sound had melted the nerves and created space for some positivity. I saw people standing on the road side waiting for a public bus to office, there were labours who were working at the site with their kids playing in the mud, beggars begging for food at the traffic light, a man with an amputated limb selling tea to earn his bread. A huge sense of such gratitude flowed in and I felt so blessed. The same views could have simply added to my irritation or maybe I wouldn’t have even noticed them.

The presumed awful day turned out to be an awesome day. In a same given situation, I lived two completely opposite experiences – suffering and been blessed, with a simple change in perception & making a positive choice.

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Failure is inevitable

All the parents, teachers & mentors teach us how to be successful and help children train their mind for it. That’s an easy conversation. But what is missed is to help the child know that failures will happen, they are inevitable. They miss to coach the child on how to deal with failures. How does one see failures as, how does one handle the failure – emotionally, mentally and physically. Now that’s a difficult conversation. 

Does this mean we are seeding failure in the child’s mind? Not true. I believe it’s important that we prepare our children for life. It is better they learn it through their small dips while we are around them to guide and support instead to leave them to have a shock of their life to face an unexpected failure with not having us around.

Talking about how to deal with failures is basically to –

– help them learn to know & accept that it may happen some or the other time in life

– help them prepare well for such situation and deal with it without breaking down

– help them give a productive meaning to it so that they become progressive, persistent & resilient

– help them experience life sportingly and become a better person than becoming a victim of their own egos.

Answer this for yourself –

  • Would you not have done better in life had you been taught how to deal with failures earlier in the age?
  • Had you not been comfortable and under less pressure of performance had someone told you that it’s okay to fail sometimes but what is important is to give your best to it?
  • Had you not been living a better life had someone taught you not to judge someone through their scores, or the assets etc?
  • Had you not been much happier if you were taught to not race with others but with your own self?

Have these conversations with your children. Share your own failure stories and how you dealt with them.

Help them think about “what ifs” (probabilities of situations) when they are preparing for success so that no turn comes as a surprise in their journey of progress.

Help them know that it is important to be progressive than to be successful all the time.

Do this so called ‘difficult’ responsibility as a parent, guardian or an adult. You would be proud you did.

We may be able to help our children live longer and happier than to commit suicides with petty downturns in life!

My First Blog Post

LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL

I strongly believe that your life starts with you and you have the power to create an experience of life. All you need is to make a conscious and the right choice for yourself.

— Reetu Verma

This is the first post on my new blog. I’m just getting this new blog going, so stay tuned for more. Subscribe below to get notified when I post new updates.

Introduce Yourself (Example Post)

This is an example post, originally published as part of Blogging University. Enroll in one of our ten programs, and start your blog right.

You’re going to publish a post today. Don’t worry about how your blog looks. Don’t worry if you haven’t given it a name yet, or you’re feeling overwhelmed. Just click the “New Post” button, and tell us why you’re here.

Why do this?

  • Because it gives new readers context. What are you about? Why should they read your blog?
  • Because it will help you focus you own ideas about your blog and what you’d like to do with it.

The post can be short or long, a personal intro to your life or a bloggy mission statement, a manifesto for the future or a simple outline of your the types of things you hope to publish.

To help you get started, here are a few questions:

  • Why are you blogging publicly, rather than keeping a personal journal?
  • What topics do you think you’ll write about?
  • Who would you love to connect with via your blog?
  • If you blog successfully throughout the next year, what would you hope to have accomplished?

You’re not locked into any of this; one of the wonderful things about blogs is how they constantly evolve as we learn, grow, and interact with one another — but it’s good to know where and why you started, and articulating your goals may just give you a few other post ideas.

Can’t think how to get started? Just write the first thing that pops into your head. Anne Lamott, author of a book on writing we love, says that you need to give yourself permission to write a “crappy first draft”. Anne makes a great point — just start writing, and worry about editing it later.

When you’re ready to publish, give your post three to five tags that describe your blog’s focus — writing, photography, fiction, parenting, food, cars, movies, sports, whatever. These tags will help others who care about your topics find you in the Reader. Make sure one of the tags is “zerotohero,” so other new bloggers can find you, too.

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